omg I still haven’t finished this AT it’s been too long already just sitting inside my art folder
my gosh that previous post is just too long! anyway this is for M4deline done in Photoshop CS6. my lineart feels more alive in Photoshop than in SAI
I was sure it was art block…
…but it turned out to be something else.
I think I’m depressed…or is this what they call midlife crisis?
I’m not happy with the direction where my art is going. I started drawing chibis for fun since they’re easier to draw and it’s relaxing; no pressure at all. Then I started drawing non-chibis, trying out different styles and techniques in Paint Tool Sai. I learned a lot but I’m a bit confused…Confused from what? I don’t know, I’m not sure.
I think I’d like to try to get out of the chibi thing. I don’t want to be seen as just a chibi artist. I can draw other things, too. Although…I’m not comfortable with Paint Tool Sai. Paint Tool Sai is great and easy to use not to mention you can draw way faster with it once you get used to it but whenever I use it I feel like my drawing is forced; therefor inconsistent. It’s different when I’m using Photoshop. Everything seems to come out naturally, like drawing on paper. So, I’m going to move to Photoshop. My style will be different and I’m going to start learning a new program all over again. It doesn’t matter though. I’ll still use Paint Tool Sai since there are a bunch of unfinished commissions I need to do and they expect me to draw the usual cute/shiny style.
There’s a ton more of questions I have like: Should I go pro with this? Or should I just draw as a hobby? What kind of artist do I want other people to see me? Stuff like those…It’s kinda hard to answer them when I don’t even know myself. What do I like? What about those I don’t like? What do I want anyway? I’ve been following other people’s wants and I’m forced to accept some things that I’m against at, and I don’t know what is what anymore. Is this how being an adult is? Is this how they want me to become? It feels so…empty. I have no love for the things I do, I don’t appreciate them, I have no feelings for them and I think I’m going to lose my sanity. Sometimes I wonder if I exist. One thing’s for sure, and I’m really sure of it, I don’t like this.
I think everything started when my grandpa passed away just this year. It made me think of..life itself, I suppose…Well, whatev!! Whether it’s depression or midlife crisis, I need to do something about it. But first, I need to finish those commissions and art trades I owe people with!!! ; A ; It’s been a while but I’m glad I finally got to figuring out these stuff that’s been going on inside my head.
Another gaia art. Sometimes I’m wondering what I want to draw. I started drawing avi art so I could practice my tablet skills and in the process I forgot the things I usually draw. If I stopped now, then what should I draw? I feel lost.
It’s been a while since I last uploaded something here. I forgot my pass but I was kinda too lazy to recover it TuT until today
my oc based from my avi on gaia ~
such cuties omg ~ !!!
this of goldcadet and her sister holy o u o
i am totally disappointed with this one no kidding. My monitor was on a wrong setting and the colors were seriously off! All yellows are yellow green, blues became cyan-ish and the pink are orange! It was so difficult editing it… gah! ; A ;
Oh well, at least I now know how to use photoshop ; v ;
started playing ro with my bf to get over my art block
my soon to be arch bishop, still a high novice ; v ;